Inside: Learn how to regulate your emotions and stay calm even during difficult situations. Your guide to transform into a cool-headed mother.
Motherhood is the most beautiful phase of my life that changed me as a person. But the hardships it comes with are also a lot. With suddenly increased responsibilities and not having much support can take a toll on our mental health.
I am not just talking about postpartum depression here. The exhaustion and overwhelmed feeling that motherhood puts us through change the way we react to things. And there are many external factors like career, family members, financial concerns etc that put us in stressful situations.
More than 80% mothers have accepted that they have lost their chill after they became mothers. After noticing how I was getting angry at the drop of a hat, I understood the need to calm down and develop emotional resilience.
When we calm down, we can see things clearly and make better decisions. And that’s what I aimed for.
Let me share a few functional tips that have worked for me like charm and helped me to stay relaxed and calm even during a storm.
Related read: Want to find out why you lose patience while handling your toddler? Read this blog to know more.
Relaxed Mothers Nurture Happy Children
Whether you breastfeed or not, there is always an imperceptible connection between you and your child. Thus, your emotions and habits find a way to them as well. You might have noticed your children being cranky when you are irritated and disturbed.
And that will aggravate us even more. Little are we aware of how this negative circle travels around our home. Children bear the effects of parents who suffer from emotional disturbances for a long time.
In my own experience, I have found it easy to handle my kids when my mind is relaxed and in a place.
Kids observe a lot more than they hear and listen. They can easily read our state of mind through our tone, body language and facial expressions.
When we can calm ourselves down, we can practically show them how they can handle unpleasant situations.
Without further ado, let me list down those magical techniques that helped me pull myself together and stay calm.
Learning To Be Indifferent
To say it frankly, not giving a damn! Sometimes we tend to give too much thought for matters that don’t deserve our attention. Usually things that happened in the past and that are going to happen in future will fall into this list.
Thinking about them for a long time gets us worked up. And before we even realize, we feel blue.
That’s when we have to ask our mind, ‘is this worth worrying about?’. For a second stop thinking about matters that bothers you and turn your focus somewhere else.
You can rather think about moments that put a smile on your face. Detaching ourselves from negatively impacting emotions will not happen in one day. But slow and steady progress can help us reach the saturation point one day and keep the drama at bay.
More than a habit, this is a lifestyle change that can open doors to happiness and positivity. To understand more about this in spiritual level, try reading this book ‘The subtle art of not giving a f**k’.
Music is the food to our soul. When headsets are on, we travel into a different world, don’t we? Whenever I am clueless and find myself in messier situations, music is what rescued me and brought back to another realm.
Also, our brain has the habit of relating songs to situations and circumstances we have been into.
So pick songs wisely that bring out happy and positive emotions in you and create a playlist. Tune into them in those moments when you feel helpless and can’t seem to sit back and relax.
If your child is in a happy mood, have a small dance session with them and let yourself loose.
This is also the time to show off your singing skills. Sing along with it!
Slowly you will see yourself beaming with a smile in a much eased condition. Use music as the shield to divert yourself and feel relaxed.
Being active is the solution to keep all the worries away. You can pick any kind of activity that you wish. Be it walking, mild exercising, yoga, running or even a quick visit to gym.
Studies show that exercising reduces stress hormones and helps us stay calm. They also produce mood elevating hormones and give an instant boost of energy and confidence.
You will not just come out of a stressed mindset but also feel a little elevated and hopeful. When you indulge in some kind of physical activity every day, your mental well-being along with physical health is already taken care of.
I personally love running as the speed never lets thoughts get clouded in my head. This brought back my focus as I often used to be distracted. At the end, the satisfied feeling of accomplishing something great will be filled in my head.
Start your fitness journey today to become physically fit and mentally happy.
Have you used breathing techniques while going through labor? It is not just prescribed to cope with the pain due to contractions but also to get you relaxed physically and mentally.
And you don’t really need anything to try this. Find a place to sit comfortably and you are good to go.
Taking a deep breath helps you relax right away as it lets more oxygen in. There are many deep breathing techniques that you can follow.
One of the most effective techniques that is good for beginners is inhaling and filling air in diaphragm (body part that lies between lungs and stomach) and exhaling through the mouth.
Despite your mood, you can try this at any time of the day. Starting your day with three to five deep breathing exercises will make you feel light and refreshed throughout the day.
Sleep is the answer to any physical or mental distress you might be facing. Handling home, children and work together, many moms don’t sleep or take proper rest. Lack of proper sleep is the reason why we struggle with headaches and gulp tons of coffee.
Take a power nap whenever your child is sleeping. Indulging in a nap for 30 minutes and then taking a quick shower is still a dream for many mothers. But we can still find some time for it to relieve ourselves from stress.
This short sleep gives your body the break it needs. It regulates your hormones and relaxes your body and mind.
Next time if you find yourself immersed in disturbing thoughts and not able to loosen up, take that much-needed nap.
Spend Time With Family And Loved Ones
All the above techniques involved around just you but here you are taking the help of your family. The increasing responsibilities of a mother distance her more from her family members and others related to her.
I actually went through a phase where I didn’t even bother to pick calls from my friends and coworkers.
Especially after becoming a mother, we all go through major life changes and totally isolate ourselves from everyone. But people are not there in our life for insignificant reasons.
When we realize this and try to reconnect, we will get to see how many people are there for us and care for us.
No matter how busy it gets, let’s allocate some good time for our loved ones and have heart-to-heart conversations with them often. Having someone to pour our heart to makes us feel warm and relaxed.
Some Bonus Tips
These are some tips that might not work or be applicable for everyone but offer the same level of effectiveness in reducing your stress levels.
Essential oils – Those who love aromatherapy know how these buddies can get a hang of our emotions while providing soothing sensation. Oils like lavender oil, tea tree, peppermint, chamomile and basil are great for this purpose.
Check out this combo pack that has 8 different essential oils.
Spa day – Didn’t we all used to enjoy spa days when we were spinsters? But guess what? You can enjoy that pleasure at home too. Gift yourself this spa kit and enjoy your me-time. Or simply put on some face masks, lay back and enjoy.
Nature trip – Sometimes we need to disconnect from this mundane routine and set ourselves loose. This can even be a walk in the nearby park or a road trip or trek to an adventurous place. Plan and implement it. The more you connect with nature the more you feel calm.
Books – How can I add this to the bonus section?! This is a part of life for many women. But it takes a backseat after having children. Now is the time to visit a library or bookshop and devour some books on your favorite genre.
Herbal teas – Yes! There are some magical herbal teas that exist which feels like a breath of fresh air literally! For me, this non-caffeinated, lavender and chamomile flavored herbal tea from Tiesta did the trick.
Digital detox or being active in online communities – Pick whatever that works for you. For me, an equal dosage of both is helping to keep myself sane.
And there are many other ways in which you can rediscover yourself and find the way to a calm, peaceful life. But it all starts within you. Your mind and heart should set in this and work in harmony throughout this journey to produce an effective outcome.
If there are a thousand causes that put you down, find a minimum of 100 ways to help yourself get out of that mess. Be your friend here and help yourself out to be that calm mom you intend to be.
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