Inside: Craved nonjudgmental support when you were a new mother? Here is why and how you can do it. Learn to know more about how you can become that woman you needed the most during your postpartum stage.
We are blessed to live in an era where one woman finds solace in another one while the internet connects us. Women relationships are always beautiful to witness and have evolved a lot over a period of time.
Popular theories can scream that men take effort to sustain friendships. But we beat that with developing deep and strong bonds even if it’s for a short duration.
Post motherhood we go through quick and powerful transformations (rather forced). The newborn baby and added responsibilities overwhelm us too. All we need is a reliable and caring friend to support us.
Being someone who has gone through what we are facing, they can not just give functional advice but also turn the whole situation easy.
Why Is It Essential To Have Mom Friends?
Once the baby is born, we tend to distance ourselves from our old friends, cousins, coworkers and everyone who was there for us. In my case, I couldn’t even connect with my parents.
This is the phase when we start feeling that our own self is lost. And mom friends are the god-sent angels who can help us reinvent ourselves.
The relatability quotient is really high here and it makes us vent out openly with them.
What’s more special is they clear the silliest mom doubts we have better than Google.
And reassure us whenever we worry about something trivial.
This spiritual bond we share with them is hard to find with others, right?
I am proud to say that I have many such nurturing friends who have been there for me
And that’s why you need to have at least one mommy friend who will support you with all her might.
Also, when you get a better hang of your life, you will find yourself rooting for other moms involuntarily.
How Can I Support Other Moms?
Whether it’s someone from your own town or a mom who you know on Facebook or Instagram, you have got multiple ways to show your unconditional support.
Let’s create an unbreakable support system that will never make any woman feel helpless or vulnerable.
Be A Part Of Mom Support Forums And Groups
The Internet is the best tool that brings us close and helps us feel relieved when we cannot leave our home.
Spending 10 to 15 minutes going through other moms’ posts and commenting our positive opinion is definitely going to make them feel valued.
We don’t always have to share gram-worthy, happy posts. Sometimes, it’s okay to post and normalize our typical, day-to-day happenings too.
This genuinity is what is going to make others feel connected with us and assure that everyone has it too.
There are many mom support groups on Facebook where we can join and solve the doubts and concerns of fellow mothers.
I have many mommy friends in my circle who I befriended online. They are still happily supporting me and taking interest in my motherhood journey.
Pay A Visit
If your friend, neighbor or someone close to you has become a mother recently, pay them a visit. Their happiness would know no bounds as they get a break from tiring new mom duties.
Instead of buying toys, clothes or baby accessories, bring them food or their favorite snack.
Let’s prioritize mothers while also reducing cooking burden off their shoulders.
Some suggestions are freshly baked cookies (Lactation cookies are the best), bread, smoothies, salad, curry etc.
Take care of their baby and ask them to go for a bath or finish some errands.
Sit them to them and ask them how their journey so far is. Trust me, they will completely open up and get it all out.
Whether a new mom or not, you can still visit them and spend quality time with them. Set up a play date when kids can play together while mothers unwind themselves.
Have A Check On Them!
With our busy lives, our social world always goes for a toss. And we don’t always find time to get in touch with our best friends or mom friends.
But when we take some time to check on them even through a small message, it makes them happy. You will be surprised to find how nothing has changed in the relationship you shared with them.
The more you take effort to reconnect, the more you will find it easy to open up. This few minutes of refreshing conversation sets a smile on your face for the whole day.
Listen to their stories, what their children are up to, their current plans regarding their career and future and encourage them. Tell them that they are the best mom.
No matter how much we do for our children and family, we secretly have this doubt deep inside.
When a fellow mom acknowledges that we are the best mother, it restores our confidence.
When was the last time you got out of your home just to have some quality time for yourself? I can already see your children and husband being a part of those plans. 😹
Create a WhatsApp group, gather mommies around (who are in your town). They don’t have to know each other. Have spicy and fruitful conversations.
Once everyone gets comfortable, announce your meetup plan. I know it’s not easy to fix a timing that will work for everyone. And being a plan coordinator is not easy at all 😂
Not everyone can find time but you need to insist why they should think about themselves too.
Once everyone is ready, book an aesthetic venue where you can have your cheerful mommy meet-up.
To make it fun, set some themes, ask them to dress up, buy gifts for each other or host secret santa and have many interesting games planned up. Arrange for photo props and banners.
Go home with dozens of selfies and tons of memories!
Always Be Kind!
When it comes to parenthood, we all have our own ways. And ultimately the major goal here for everyone is to do their best for their children.
Let us not judge or remark on others just because they are doing something the wrong way. Like choosing to bottle feed instead of breastfeeding or leaving their child with a nanny and going to work.
We are privileged to have things work out for us in the way it’s supposed to. But not everyone is.
Who knows? They might have layers of guilt accumulated over but just maintaining a smile.
Instead of calling them out or berating them with mean comments, let’s try and see the best things they are doing as a mother.
When we are kind and good, everything around us instantly becomes positive and sparkling.
Motherhood is both a beautiful and cumbersome journey. At the end of the day, we all are trying hard to make it better for us and our child. When there is a supporting hand, it fills us with courage and positivity.
When depression and mental illnesses are taking hold of our wellbeing, a small space for us like this acts as the savior boat.
Let’s cherish such relationships in our life and keep it close to our heart. Because these are the people who help us find a new identity when things go rough and tough.
The pleasure of giving something back to the community that uplifted us once is enormous. Hope you all get a chance to encounter and enjoy that.
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