To the exhausted mother…
Inside: This article is a letter to the exhausted mother; because you need to come out of that rut to feel better as a mom and as an Individual.
You see; we moms are wired to give..give..and..give more!
Every single mom I know, always gives away more for her family, then she can afford — physically, emotionally and sometimes even financially.
and often forgets to refill her own cup!
BUT the fact is; we can’t pour out of an empty cup.
To refill our mom cup we need to first refill our personal cup.
Which means we need to do something for ourselves — it could be a hobby, or some productive “me time”, or some self-care time.
No, don’t tell me… “What’s a hobby? I’m a mom!”
I’ve read such quotes too many times on Instagram and Facebook, and while they’re funny and sarcastic at the moment; they’re promoting an unhealthy thought process.
So find a hobby or do something for yourself — hang out with your old friends without guilt, go for a date night, get your toes painted, go for a walk, find some artsy thing you like to do, or maybe some brainy thing you would have done before you had kids.
You need to do some self-care thing for yourself; as in for……. (fill in your name here).
I’ll share my new hobby:
I personally am developing a new hobby of coloring… I had a bruised relationship with art, where at my elementary school art teacher always punished me for something I didn’t do correctly in the art class (at least that’s how I remember it), and I grew a hatred towards art and my swag was “I don’t care about it” — well, it was me retaliating to those punishments.
So, in attempt to heal my relationship with colors, I am coloring simple color books with pencil colors and they’re so relaxing and calming for me, and I get a ton of ideas for “all things life” when I color.
The point of telling you this story is… find or resume a hobby or something you like to do… it’ll help you relax and help you plan your life better in that totally unrelated time.
My hubby listens to music for his hobby, like literally he sits down and listens to music, it helps him relax and gives him a burst of ideas for life.
A friend of mine draws and paints pictures, and another friend who’s a former math teacher likes to do sudoku, another friend likes her yoga classes, my aunt likes crossword puzzles, my grandma loved crocheting.
Do you get the point?
It’s not about that thing you do… it’s about the calm and ideas you get from doing what you like.
These simple joys help you refill your cup with extra patience.
Us modern moms are getting pulled into a pseudo-hobby though…
We go to Target for “me time”; but unfortunately this is not a real hobby.
It’s just like “Yelling at our kids”… it gives us a pseudo burst of feeling powerful but is neither an empowering activity nor does it really fulfill any purpose.
And at the end of the day, you’ll still remain that exhausted mom, because that activity did not help you grow personally!
Plus, the only one who benefits from this is the store. Nothing against Target (I love them, but not more than my reader friends)
You need a real hobby or something you like to do for yourself, that you will not regret later.
I have regretted all the clutter I’ve accumulated in the past from my solo trips to stores (because I have a thing for clearance! so much so that the first thing I look for on the clearance sticker is the number on the right top corner and not the price).
But I’ve not regretted taking my dog for a walk or coloring pages or getting my toes painted.
Don’t tell me “I can’t afford a hobby” or “I don’t have time for it”.
I color my books when my kids color theirs, or I write on this website (which is my big passion) in the mornings before my kids wake up.
I remember my aunt doing her sudoku and crosswords when we were around.
Where there is a will there is a way!
When you do these little things with passion in your children’s presence; they are mesmerized by it and want to follow along without being a disturbance, plus since you feel calmer you are more patient with them!
Trust me Mom… I promise this will make you better at Mommin’
when you adopt to do something you like.
If not for yourself do it to be a better mom!
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Kay
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